Monday, December 6, 2010

Why I think father's role is always underestimated? (written by me)

~ ~ Dedicated to my dad on his 53rd birthday ~ ~

Often role of a father is underestimated in the family compared with that of a mother. Mother is always nice, caring, loving, someone who will run after you with glass of milk, food no matter you are 2 years old or you are 40. She will always neglect her child's mistakes. She will never accept that her kid underperformed in an exam; on the contrary she would say that paper was extremely tough. For a mother, her child is the best child in the world, doesn’t matter even if he is a criminal. On the other hand, fathers are exactly opposite. Tough expressions, always asking too many questions & reasons, asking you to behave properly, slapping you for the mistakes you do, will scold you for coming late, always probing you for something or the other. He will eventually force you to think that he is your enemy & all he wants is to interrupt you & is always a spoilsport. Finally a kid starts believing that dad is someone who doesn’t want you to enjoy life, enjoy late night parties etc, he is just too old-fashioned, orthodox and doesn’t love you one bit.

That’s not at all true. If mom is a pillar, than father is the base of any family. Open a newspaper and you will read hundreds of articles related to mothers. Despite father’s importance, not much is written about it. Even in ancient holy books, not much is mentioned about a father. All saints explain you the importance of a mother in your life. Not much is written about a father.

Mothers have oceans of tears, fathers have wall of patience. Mothers cry out their pain and disappointments easily, but it is father who has to console everyone. Crying is always easier than consoling. We appreciate & thank our mother for preparing delicious food, clean clothes, for reminding you important things, for taking so much care of you, but we often forget our father who actually slogs it out day & night to provide us all the luxuries/comforts we enjoy?

During difficult times, a mother can show her tears, but father looks firm & still as if nothing has happened. Is he not concerned? Is he not bothered? Ever looked at his face in such a situation? He wants to cry but he controls himself as he has to handle everyone. His heart cries from inside but he doesn’t express it in front of anyone.

It is dad who will work overtime for your new bike or for your parlor expenses. He himself will be content with his old dress but will always give you extra for your new shirt. He will be happy with his old Maruti, but will let you buy a Honda City.

Ever though how much self-sacrifice a father has to make for our higher studies. He will sacrifice his plan for a world tour for your higher studies abroad. Mother will be over-the-moon when her child achieves something but it is father who will run to the sweets shop to buy sweets for whole society.

At the time of a child’s birth, mother has to go through the pain in the labor room. Everyone will be concerned about her but no one imagines how much tensed a father would be? How sweaty is hands and head would be? He is the one who runs here & there making sure every arrangement is perfect. I would probably end up eating all my nails in such a crunch situation.

When the daughter gets married during that time he hides behind the car deliberately not to show his tears, he then cries alone once everyone’s left. If his daughter gets married in a rich & well off family he won’t visit there too often but if she is in a poor family he will always visit there with some gift or the other just to make sure that she is having sufficient comforts there.

A real incident

I was feeling down and out, dejected after my second startup failed. So I met my uncle who always motivated and cheers me up. He is a famous counselor, around 45 years old, but we share each and everything. We are more of friends. So his first reaction was – You look sad. Are you alright? My answer was – "I would love to say yes but I would be lying then". I narrated the whole thing. He said that everyone has so many problems in this world & then he told me something which really had a deep impact on me from inside. He asked what do you think- I don’t have any problems. I said I don’t think so. He said problems are part of life. He further said "I give counseling to so many people. Have you imagined how much I have to motivate myself daily to handle and console so many of them? Even I have faced serious problems & at times situation was too complicated for me to handle. It was all SAIs blessings that I weathered that storm.

These are the brief excerpts from what he told me…

"It was in year 1999 when I was due to be a father for the 1st time. I took her to hospital; operation started in the OT. I was really hell of a lot tensed. My parents, her parents, our other relatives and well-wishers - everyone was present there – both excited and nervous.
Due to doctor’s mistake, there were certain complications in the delivery. Actually at the time of taking out the baby he took a wee bit longer to cut the cord which is connected between the baby & the mother. Due to that the baby had some issues with breathing. Eventually the kid started to breath but she was not crying. It is important for a baby to cry. Nurse informed me about this after 10 minutes. They injected around 60 injections in her but the baby was not responding at all. Her breathing was pretty alright but it was important that she should cry once. They took her to the ventilator waiting if she would cry but she didn’t. I was from a medical family & I knew that now even if this child survives she will never be able to lead a normal life as her brain was already dead. She will an abnormal kid, this situation will never change as oxygen never reached her brain which is really imperative when the child is born.

Now, my wife was unaware about all this. I went to the doctor and asked him to take the baby out of the ventilator. If she survives just like that then it’s ok but don’t keep her in the ventilator more. Doctor gave a pat on my back for such a brave decision. I was absolutely sure of what I was doing. I always knew that she is demented and won’t be able to lead a normal life ever. It was bad for her, for us, for everyone.

My whole family was under so much panic. But I had to take a call. I had to do it. I was literally crying as I didn’t want her to be dead but somewhere for her kid’s well being I had to do it. As a father I was thinking that her life will be useless. She will never be able to learn, read, write, and think. She won’t have any social or married life. Who will take care of her once we die?

Eventually the baby died after half an hour. I somehow had to control my feelings as there was a Herculean task ahead that is how to tell and convince his wife about this. Suddenly informing her about this would have put her in a state of shock & depression which could be really serious and she might not be able to get over it ever.

So, when I met her for the 1st time after her delivery, she asked "I want to see my baby where is she?” I convinced her that there were certain complications & the baby is in the ventilator. She insisted that she would just like to have a look at her from outside. I had to convince her that she is not allowed to do that at this point of time as it could be very dangerous for the kid. Nobody is allowed to see her. She will be fine soon and then you can have her in your arms.

The important thing here was the timing, so I had to mentally prepare her first. I wanted her to make the decision herself though the baby was already dead. Next day I told her that baby’s condition has worsened further. In the evening I told her she is improving but she is not crying.

Three days went by, this way total 5 days went by giving her one excuse or the other. Then on 6th day I told her that baby is still in the ventilator. Oxygen has not reached her brain so you know what will happen now? My wife looked very much tensed and quietly asked "what"? I told her that baby will not be able to lead a normal life ever and she will be "mad"? My wife enquired again & again if something can be done, but when she was convinced that nothing can be done. She told me "we don’t want such baby as she will have to suffer pain & miseries for the rest of her life. Please ask doctor to take the baby out of the ventilator". I asked her "Are you sure?”. But what if she dies? She said "Then let her die as she will never be able to lead a normal happy life. She will never have any education, she won’t have any married life and who will take care of her once we die?" So I told her "Ok. I will ask doctor to take the baby out then". In the evening I informed my wife that the baby was dead. She started sobbing but I was well aware that situation is under control as she was now mentally prepared to accept this thing. It still had a deep impact on her. It took her 2 long years to come out of it. In that phase I had to be with her every single minute. There was never a moment when I left her alone. There was always somebody near her. Soon, she started recovering and I knew that she will be back to normal once we have a baby and so we had our 1st baby after 4 long years."

I was really amused what to say. I tried to put myself in his shoes and asked myself "what would I do if I was a father in such a situation?". The answer was that "I would have cried out like anything". I mean, I would be a father someday, I am absolutely sure that it would take me atleast 10 days to hold my baby for the first time just to make sure that I don’t hurt him. I mean just an imagination of being a father makes me behave like a sincere & dedicated man who would do everything possible for his beloved wife & kid. It will be an amazing feeling.


So, you see.. the whole point was to explain that fathers are equally important and I am thankful to god that I’m so lucky to have such a fantastic and supportive father...

I don’t remember him stopping me from something I wished. He always stood by me in my bad times. He still has arms and shoulders open for me when I wish to cry. I would consider myself to be a successful father even if I am able to do even 70% of what my dad did for me.

Dad, I apologize if I have given you any trouble intentionally or unintentionally. I know I have been a good son so far and you are proud of me which really makes me feel good about myself. You are someone who is more than god for me and promise that I will always try to be a good son.. Always..

Love you dad!!

P.S.: Please do give your suggestions and comments. Kindly describe in details what you liked and how can I improve. Your feedback is really important to me. Thank you all.
Written by:
Manish Lunja.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Relationships in 21st Century.. Time for some gyan and funda :)

It’s been quite a while since I wrote something so here we go. Its rainy Sunday, climate is really overcast and I am feeling lonely. The positive side of being alone is that it gives in ample time to think, scrutinize and brood over various things. Just when I was changing channels as I so often do, I was stuck on a program “Emotional Atyachaar”, which is quite a popular show especially among young people like us. Obviously few things which they show are really hilarious as well as obnoxious. But this really is something serious. So today I was thinking about relationships, marriages and loyalty in 21st century.

What is the 1st thing that comes to your mind when you are talking about a relationship? Trust, loyalty, honesty, understanding etc etc.. Trust is the most imperative thing as far as any relationship is concerned- we all know it and there are no two ways about it. Then why people are so casual about relationships? Yesterday, I met a close friend of mine who was really sad because his girlfriend dumped him. Reason was only known to her. The only problem I see is “excessive expectations”. People expect so many things from their respective partner and when it is not fulfilled, they start to feel that things are not going in the right direction. Friction starts to creep in. If you are in a relationship, do not expect much. Give your all to him/her. But people don’t understand this simple thing and that’s where the problem begins.

We are attracted towards things which are temporary – looks, physics, figure, money, status etc and forget the most important thing he/she must possess i.e “True Heart”.
Stand by someone you love and care till your last breath and things should be relatively easy. Life would be much more fun if we understand this simple thing. If you understand this simple thing then understanding and bonding will increase automatically.

Guys and girls, please be honest and loyal with your partner. Real value of important things is realized once we loose them. Few things never come back. Remember, you always get back what you give and this law applies in each and everything. If you cheat someone, you will never be happy ever. Give your all and life is so much fun..

All the best everyone.. Adios!! :D

Friday, October 30, 2009

Story Written By Me: How important you are to me… Part- 3


Angel (to her dad): Dad! I want to tell you something!

Angel’s Dad: What is it?

Angel: (calls her mom too): Mom and Dad! I want to tell you something.. I have been under so much stress and fear. I don’t know after hearing this what would be your reaction but still I am not able to hide it anymore. I know what I am gonna say is unexpected but I hope you will agree for my happiness.

Dad(grins): What are you talking about? Are you alright? What is bothering you child!

Angel: Dad! I am deeply in love with someone. (and she starts to cry!) I don’t know how it happened. I never expected that I can love someone so much. But it just happened. I love him more than I can ever love anyone. He is in my soul, he is in my heart, he is just everywhere. When I close my eyes I see him, when I open my eyes I see him. I tried to avoid him but it was all in vein. I just can’t live without him dad! Please! Please! (and then she sobs folding her hands and resting on her heels).

Dad: Stop crying and look at me (he looks with an angry face but controls himself). Who is he?

Angel: Dad, his name is Victor. He is a nice guy and he loves me too. His family is catholic. Dad.. But I love her and it doesn’t matter.

Dad: What? It doesn’t matter to you because you can’t see anything else other than love. I can’t accept this shit from you. Just forget him.. We can’t accept this.

Angel: Dad I want to marry him.

Dad: Are you insane? Don’t talk bullshit. Go to your room and sleep. No more discussion on this topic.

She slowly walks pass stairs and enters her room and shuts the door. She cries for whole night, dejected and helpless. Next day she calls him on his cell. As soon as he picks up the phone she starts crying.

Victor: Hey baby! What happened? Are you alright darling?

Angel: No honey! I am not alright. I spoke to my dad yesterday night about our relationship and he was really angry about this. Victor, I am really scared. I don’t want to loose you.

Victor: Hey baby! Calm down. Calm down. Everything will be fine. Don’t worry.

Angel: Victor! I am feeling very lonely. Please come here and hug me tightly. I want to be in your arms. I feel so protected when you are with me. I need you Vic.

Victor: Yea baby I will come on this weekend. Just stop crying and don’t worry……. Hope you ate something today. Did you? Tell me honestly

Angel: Nope! How can I eat anything after this incident.

Victor: Baby, please eat something otherwise even I wont have my lunch today I swear.

Angel: No No! don’t do that honey! Ok! I will eat something.

Victor: Take care my love! I miss you. Love u

Weekend was just round the corner and soon the desperation ended. They met and they hugged each other tightly.

Angel: Honey! I want you to make one promise today.

Victor: What is it?

Angel: Promise me that you will never leave me. We will get married soon.

Victor: I promise honey! But what about our parents? They will never accept this

Angel: I don’t know about all this. All I know is that I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Victor: Ok! Lets go to your home now.

Angel: Are you crazy? My dad will shoot you. I can’t take such a risk. And why do you want to do anything like that?

Victor: I will request your parents. Let me try it once please..

Angel: Nooo!

Victor: Please…

Angel: Ok! But I am really scared. What if something happened to you?

Victor: Don’t worry. I will be fine. Nothing will happen. At least let me try once.

Angel: Alright!

And they both went to her house. She knocked the door seriously praying for her mom to open the door. But it was her dad.

Angel’s Dad: Yes! Who is it? How can I help you? (and then Angel comes from behind). Angel, who is he?

Angel: Dad, he is Viccctor! He wants to talk to you.

Dad: What does he want to talk about? Young man, you don’t know I can shoot you right here. I am surprised how audacious you are.

and he laughs and continues – You don’t have to kill someone, who wants to commit a suicide!

Victor: Sir, I love your daughter and want to marry her. I promise you I will take good care of her and will try to give her all the luxuries of life. Please, allow me to marry her.

Dad: Your parents know about all this, I bet they would have denied too. Still you are here to convince me.. That’s strange..

Victor: I tried a lot to convince my parents but they are just not ready to listen anything. I am here with lot of hopes that atleast you will understand and will help us.

Dad: Young man! You are just too young to understand all this. She is elder than you. We both have different cultures, religion. This cannot happen. Better you leave my daughter alone otherwise you will be in a big problem.

Victor: Sir, I am prepared for everything… I don’t care if she is elder than me. 5-6 years is not a big difference. I will marry your daughter!

Dad: Get out of here before I kill you. Get out..

and Victor leaves her house with shattered dreams. Next day, she gives some excuse to her dad and leaves home to meet him.

Angel: What are we gonna do now Victor?

Victor: I have decided that we will marry soon. We will go against our parents and society and we will go away to far off place and will never come back. Ok Angel?

Angel: If this is the only option left, then I can’t help it. Lets go and get married.

They both went to the judicial court and got married in few days. Then they went to church and completed all the rituals and left the place forever with help of few friends. They went to some far away place so that no one can find them.

Victor took so much care of her and made sure she is comfortable. He sacrificed his career and home everything just to be with her. They became parents of a son and a daughter in 3 years.


One day, Victor came to know that he has blood cancer and he won’t live for very long. He was sad, not because he was dieing but because Angel will never be able to accept such a setback. She will never be able to accept the fact that he is no more.

He decided that he won’t tell about this to anyone. For the last 20 years there was hardly an hour when they were not together. The world just doesn’t exist if the other one is not around.

In his last remaining days, he tried to collect as much money as he can from all his savings so that it can useful once he is not there. And one day HE DIED.

Just few moments back when he was about to die, he went near angel, hugged her tightly and kissed her on lips passionately, holding her hand, and that was the time he took his last breath.

He died in her beloved’s arms. Angel just wasn’t ready to accept the fact that he is no more. She tried a lot to wake him up but it was all in vein. Still her hand was in his hand and she was not ready to leave him.

Everyone tried to convince her but she was just not ready to listen. She kept on crying and repeating that


And she kept on saying these words for 5 days nonstop. She cried for 5 days and died.


Well… They both met in heaven…. Their love is an epitome and will always be remembered forever. They will never die from any lover’s heart..




**P.S. - This is a purely fictional story and it’s not intended to hurt anyone’s sentiments. I sincerely apologize if someone is hurt after reading it. Please do give suggestions and comments. Thank you all.

Story Written By Me: How important you are to me… Part- 2


Victor was dejected but he accepted this fact, at least she was happy, that’s what he always wanted. After few months, Victor decided to leave that city as that city always reminded him of her. He thought at least by leaving the city, he would come out of it but it was impossible for him to forget her and so he shifted to a new city where he met new people, new friend and amalgamated himself in the new environment and didn’t contact Angel. He cared and loved her so much but she never valued it, but she started to miss that care and love. She asked herself – “Why I am feeling this?”. He was just a friend nothing more and this feeling didn’t subside and was increasing gradually.

His face kept coming in front of her in dreams, he was everywhere she saw. She wished that he would contact her soon, as his previous number was changed. This was year 1995, soon she was missing him every moment, every second. She asked herself if she is in love. Yes came the answer from her heart. Yes she was in love, but what should she do? Soon she realized what Victor must have gone through when she lied to him that she had a boyfriend so that he would stop loving him. What she didn’t know that love can’t be stopped. It’s a feeling which she understood now. What should she do now? How can she contact him? She was depressed. She cursed herself for being so harsh with him, but the damage was done!

Just when she was about to lose hope of having him back, a friend of Victor called her. Something clicked on her mind. A moment of joy… She asked him if he is in contact with Victor and asked him to give Victor’s new number. Now, she had the number but she was reluctant to call. Lot of things were going on in her mind – Does he still loves me? What if he is love with someone else? What if he is engaged? Her heart was beating at the rate of naughts. Gathering some courage, she called him.

Angel: Hello! Is this Victor?

Victor: Hi Angel! How are you?

Angel: You remember my voice?

Victor: Obviously! How can I forget that? So what’s up with you these days? Your call caught me offguard. What happened? Is everything alright? How did you get my number?

Angel: I took it from your friend. Why didn’t you message me your new number? That day you told me that we will always be friends then why did you do this to me?

Victor: I just wanted to get out of all this as I wasn’t able to bear the pain and daily suffering.

Angel: So do you have a girlfriend?

Victor: How can I have a girlfriend..

Angel: So do u still love me?

Victor: Why are you asking all this? Lets not talk about all this pleaseeeeeeeeeeee!

Angel: Victor! I want to tell you something.

Victor: yea! Go along.. say it

Angel: Victor! I love you. I love you so much. I am incomplete without you.

Victor: What are you saying? I hope this is not a joke. And if it’s a joke then seriously it’s a bad one.

Angel: I am not joking. I am serious. I love you very much Victor. I have realized now how much I love you. Do you still love me?

Angel: Yes dear! I love you. I want to know if you are ready to accept me? I am sorry for being so mean to you.

Victor: But what about your boyfriend? How can you love me? You love him right?

Angel: I lied to you that I have a boyfriend. I am sorry Victor.

Victor: Its ok.

Angel: You didn’t answer my question. Do you still love me?

Victor started to sob. He just couldn’t believe his ears. He punched his wrist on the wall to check if it was a dream. But it wasn’t..

Victor: OOOUUUCHHH!! It’s real.. I am not dreaming(Holding his wrist with other hand). I can’t believe that god is so kind to me. (and starts to cry loudly). I still love you the same way, nothing in the world can change my love for you. You are in my heart and soul. Every night I see you in my dreams and I expect you to hold my hands. I love you Angel.

Angel: Promise me that you will never leave me alone like this even if I get angry with you.

Victor: I promise you that I will not leave you ever.

Angel: Oh my love! You don’t know how much I missed you when you were not here. Please come to me soon. I want to meet you right now. I want to be in your arms.

Victor: Yes dear! I will reach tomorrow morning, I will leave right now. You are the most important thing in my life. I am really thankful to god for this precious gift!

Angel: Come soon sweetheart! I will be waiting for you.

Victor: Wow! You called me sweetheart.. I will die right here due to excessive happiness.

Angel: Shut up!

Victor: Ok ok! We will meet at the Café Corner near Alexander Road tomorrow. I will call you when I reach.

Angel: Alright.

Victor was over the moon. He couldn’t believe that life will take a U-turn all of a sudden. He was really thankful to god for giving him what he so desperately what. What he loved the most – Angel. He packed his bag and ran to the catch the tram. It was scheduled at
6 o’clock. He had to wait for couple of hours before boarding. Every minute was like an year.

His life was deserted 6 months back. He was just alive then. Blood was flowing, heart and mind were working, but he didn’t have the desire and the reason to be alive. Suddenly after her call, he was LIVING his life again. There was smile on his face. He was laughing and giggling for no reason. Everyone at the station was staring at him, they must have thought of him as some mad guy.

Soon he boarded the train; every second was like another year. He just wasn’t able to sleep and was thinking about her. This all seemed so unreal to him. Next morning he reached his destination to meet who he loved the most in this world. He reached Café Corner 1 hour before scheduled time. He was looking at the mirror again and again just to make sure that he was looking perfect. Suddenly the atmosphere inside the café changed. The atmosphere was filled with special fragrance. He turned around and IT WAS HER. WOWW!! was the word that came out of his mouth naturally, loud enough for her to listen. He gave her the garland of red roses he had bought for her.

Angel: Hiiiii, How are you? Thanks for these flowers..

Victor: I guess I am not fine – my heart beats are faster than it usually is. My blood is rushing in my veins so fast that I fear it will tear of my skin any moment.

Angel: Hey!! Have some water.. You are shivering. Calm down!!

Victor: Yea. Hmmm!!

Angel: So you are not fine?

Victor: Nope..

Angel: why did you left without informing? Seems that you didn’t miss me?

Victor: Come on! There was hardly a moment when I didn’t think about you.

Angel: Really? You love me so much?

Victor: Yes sweetheart!
Angel: Oh honey! I am sorry for being rude to you. I lied to you.

Victor: Hey its alright. Better late than never.

Angel: So lets go the park which is down the lane.

They both left the place holding hands in hands.

Suddenly, She just went close to him and hugged him tightly. (and then looked in his eyes and said) Victor I love you.

Victor: I love you too sweetheart! You are the most precious thing I will ever get in this incarnation.

Angel (smiled): Come here… I have a gift for you.

Victor: What?

Angel came really close to him and kissed him on his cheeks.

Victor: That was wonderful!!

Angel: So how long you will be here sweetie?

Victor: I am here for couple of days. I guess I have to work really hard now, for you. I want to marry you as soon as possible because now I don’t want to loose you again ever.

Angel: I am always with you honey! (sleeping on his lap)

Soon, couple of days passed and he had to leave. Both were sad but there was no other alternative. Both went to the station. She had tears in her eyes.

Victor: Hey Princess, please don’t cry. I will come back in a month to meet you again.

Angel: Ok honey! Take care.. (and she kissed him on his lips, then they hugged each other)

Angel: Bye!

Victor: Bye! That was wonderful..
(and he waved his hand to bid adieu)

Victor started working really hard, got a good job and they used to meet once in a month and the love was getting deeper and deeper. One day they both decided to tell everything to their parents, who eventually opposed. She called him at night when everyone was sleeping and there was no one to keep surveillance over her activities.

Victor: My parents are against this marriage

Angel: My parents too.. So what should we do now (and she started crying).

Victor: Baby! Don’t cry.. Everything will be fine.

Angel: No! nothing is fine and nothing will be fine.

Victor: Can I ask you something?

Angel: what?

Victor: What would you do if you have to choose one?

Angel: I want to spend rest of my life with you, just you. I can’t imagine anyone else at your place. So the question of leaving you does not arise. I just can’t do that. I love you more than I can love anyone. Hey.. But you would agree to accept me if my parents are not convinced?Honeyyyy! please don’t ever leave me. I m really scared.

Victor: Off course! Nothing in the world is more important than you. Angel, you are in my heart and soul. I can’t imagine a day without talking to you. When you were not there, I was just alive, but with you around, my soul is rejuvenated again. I love my parents and I will try to convince them, I will even plead your parents for you. I don’t want to be a bad son.. Oh god!! My love.. I miss you so much!

Angel: I love you honey!!

Angel again tried to convince her parents but they were totally against it. They were Protestants and Victor’s family was Catholic. They both tried a lot to convince their parents but the efforts were futile enough for them to agree.

They had to take a call and then there was no going back.. The time had come for them to choose one – love or parents. It was then she decided to ask her parents too.

…………. To be continued :)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Story Written By Me: How important you are to me… Part- I

Friends this is a fictional romantic story of “Victor” and “Angel”.

Victor, as most adolescent guys, was confused about future after completing his soft Engineering course. So he shifted to a new city hoping for a new start and new prospects. A bulky stature, shape-pointed nose and carefree Victor, he was careless about his clothes and appearance. Soon he joined an institute for further education. He was determined to give what it takes and was mentally prepared for hard work. He completed all the joining formalities, paid the fees and left for his room with his head held high. He was supposed to join the classes from next evening.

It was 5:30 in the evening; Victor came in half an hour early in the class. The feel of the classroom, at aroma of new fresh book, the long list of proud achievers stirred him up from inside. He was sitting on the batch thinking about the future. Suddenly the door opened and for the next few moments he was bamboozled. In came a very exquisite, bulky but a very sweet looking girl. Victor just wasn’t able to take his eyes off her. Her voice was so sweet as if she had recently consumed 2 kg of “Black forest Cake”. It wasn’t the first time he was seeing someone so beautiful. He had seen many beautiful girls before just like any other “bird-watcher”. But she was very graceful and trance. There was something enchanting about her.

First lecture started with an introduction. Victor was waiting for her turn, so that he can at least know her name and hear the sweet voice once again. When her turn came, she stood up and said “Hi everyone, my name is Angel” with a beautiful smile. Victor nearly had a heart attack. His heart was beating at the rate of knots. He thought “Oh my god! Even the barbie dolls won’t be cuter than her I swear”. He wasn’t able to restrain himself from looking at her time in again.

He came in home, thinking that this must be just like any other infatuation. But his mind was constantly thinking of her. This was unusual and he was experiencing it for the first time. He was waiting for the next day’s lecture. 18 hrs was like 18 years that day for him. He saw her again today and was happy. This continued for few days before Victor decided that he has to talk to Angel but wasn’t able to gather enough courage. This continued for couple of days. Next day he decided that he will definitely talk to her today at any cost. It was raining very heavily outside. He was waiting for the right moment to talk to her when no one was around. But that didn’t happen and the lecture was over. He turned back but she had already left. He ran downstairs as fast as he could and then went towards the parking basement. Angel was talking to another friend of her. So he waited for her friend to leave. As soon as her friend left, Victor hesitatingly went near Angel and said “Hi, How are you?”. She looked puzzled and replied back “Hi, I am fine, what about you”. Victor was searching for words and was mumbling “ Ahm Uhm, I was just wondering that there should be more interaction between all the batch mates”. Angel responded “Hmm! Yea…”. So Victor said “We are batch mates now and so we need to keep in touch with each other, for test updates, classes and assignments, so may I have your number. If there is any update or change in schedule, I will let you know”. Angel was shocked enough but she just didn’t want to be rude to him and he was polite enough. She gave him her number. Both left the basement after saying “goodbye” to each other.

Next day, Victor and his friends planned to come 2 hours early for practice. So he made sure that even Angel knows about this and it would be great if she comes and join them. She was more important than studies at that particular moment. So, as decided earlier, he was there on time and started practicing along with Fred, Shelly and Andy. Victor knew that this might turn out to be a big day for him and was prepared well in advance about the topic to be discussed. He was discussing the tricks with his friends. Just then door opened and whole room was filled with a luring fragrance. Angel came in, smiling as usual and wished everyone. She had worn a red top along with different thick bangles, a small pony tied on the back side, colored earrings, and black mascara just perfect for her beautiful eyes. Her lips were wet and pink without any lipstick. He was filled with Awe.
Not that he was just attracted to her physically, but she had that grace and elegance that was just perfect as per Victor. His saxophones were working alright. He was wondering that god must have taken centuries to create someone so beautiful.

He was really thrilled and was over the moon. It was a big achievement for him. He used to find excuses to message her, wish her or start a topic on SMS chat. That way victor asked her likes, dislikes, her favorite pastime, her favorite cuisine etc. She was simple, bubbly, charming, a bit orthodox and a very dexterous girl. She was a good artist. Victor was thinking about her at each and every moment. She was there in her mind and heart. Soon he realized that its not just a mere “infatuation” but much more and much deeper than that. Yes, he was in deep love with her.

As usual, victor was confused what should be his next step. Should he tell her about how he feels about her? Should he propose her? What if she stops talking to him? What if she feels that he is just like other guys and wants to have a girlfriend for time pass, fun and for the pride of having a girlfriend? All these questions petrified him. He wanted to tell her how special she is to him. How he feels her at each and every second. How desperately he wants to be in her arms. She is someone he was longing for so long. She is the one with whom he wants to get married at have dozens of kids, she is the one whom he wants to take care for the rest of his life. She is the only one whom he can happily allow to dominate for the rest of his life.

That night his mind was preoccupied with the plan to propose her and so he couldn’t sleep. Finally he slept at 4 AM, in his dreams she was with him as his wife, sleeping with her head on his shoulders. He could feel in his dreams that life is impossible without her. He can feel both of them breathing together such that each breath is incomplete without each other. The most important thing was that his love was not physical but pure and he could feel talking to her soul.

Next day, as usual, they met in class and when the class was dispersed, Victor followed Angel to the parking basement. All the way through the staircase, he was thinking and this could be the most defining day of his life. It could turn out to be the most memorable or the worst day of his life. Angel saw him r and said “Hi”, Victor timidly replied “Hi” and his body froze. All the intrepidity he had gathered vanished somewhere and he wasn’t able to speak a word. Soon she left and Victor was kicking and cursing himself for missing the opportunity. But he was firm, he wanted her to know about his feelings. After dinner, he sent her an SMS with the purpose of starting a chat on any topic.

Victor : Angel, what do you think of me as a person?

Angel : You are a nice and a funny guy, but why are you asking this?

Victor: Simply. It just came in my mind so I asked you.

Angel: Ok, so now you tell me what do you think about me?

Victor: You are the sweetest and the cutest girl on this mother earth I swear.

Angel: ha ha ha! Very funny.. How can you say that.

Victor: Because I can feel it.

Angel: Feel what?

Victor: Feel you. I can feel you with me.

Angel: I have no idea what are you talking about. Are you in your senses?

Victor: I guess yes, but I have no idea about my senses since the day I met you for the first time.

Angel: What do you mean?

Victor: I want to tell you something if you allow me.

Angel: What? Go on..

Victor: I have a crush on you.

After the last message Victor didn’t got her reply for over 15 mins. His heart was in his mouth for few minutes. He was thinking “Is this the end of our friendship too?”. Still somewhere in his heart there was semblance of a hope that he will get a reply in affirmative.

After 20 minutes, he got a reply from her.

Angel: I am just wondering what I should say. We know each other since last 15 days only and you are saying that you have a crush on me. I don’t know how to react. You caught me a bit off guard. You hardly know anything about me - my nature, my character. We are just friends. How can you even think of anything of that sort?

Victor: (Just got carried away with the situation) I’m in love with you. It might just be 15 days for you but for me, meeting you for 15 times was like 15 different incarnations. I can never forget a single moment I had spent with you. I love you from the bottom of my heart my love.

Angel: I am really pissed off by what you are saying. How dare you? You think that I am an easy catch and you can flirt and use me? I have been so nice and kind to you so you felt that you can take advantage of my situation and I won’t say a word. This is what you think, right?

Victor: no no! I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please don’t feel bad. I just expressed my heart to you.

Angel: Ah! You feel… You all guys are sick.

Victor: Please don’t feel bad. I didn’t mean to hurt you. PLEASE!!

Angel: Enough is enough! Please don’t message and irritate me from now onwards. Bye, Gud Nite, SD.

Victor’s heart was broken, his body went numb and tears were rolling from his eyes. He felt bad not because she rejected his love but because she thought of him as a fake, characterless and a prankster. He wept for whole night but he knew that this was on the cards but its something really difficult to digest.

Next day, he went to the class again, he saw her but he just wasn’t able to face her. What she would be thinking about him. She must be feeling bad. Still, he smiled at her. She smiled back and Victor was surprised a bit to see that. Has she changed a decision? Does this smile means yes? Was she testing him? All these questions were jumbling in his mind.

He didn’t had the courage to ask her anything now, so he messaged her again.

Victor: Hi Angel, How are you?

Angel: I am as I always was.

Victor: I hope you are alright now.

Angel: Yea, I m fine.

Victor: Angel, Please don’t feel bad. I don’t expect anything from you. I believe love is a very special feeling and I am glad that I loved you and I have no regrets. But I can’t my feelings. I am not forcing you for anything but I feel that it was too early to say this to you. Obviously you have been in the position to say yes. But things can be different in future. So lets know each other more and then we can think about this. Please don’t be angry now pleaseeeee!

Angel: Victor, I am not angry but I am feeling bad for you. You will hurt yourself because you will always think that someday I might say yes. But that cannot happen as I already have a boyfriend.

Victor was dejected. His felt the earth beneath his legs shaking. He just couldn’t believe what he read.

Victor: But when I asked you, you said you don’t have a boyfriend.

Angel: Because I don’t want to discuss my personal life with anyone. But now I feel its important to tell you so that you can know the reality.

Victor: Ok! But can you tell me his name, what is he doing..

Angel: His dad is our family friend. He is studying in another city. I don’t want to tell you anything more than that.

Victor: Ok! I hope and pray that you both get married soon and I want you to be happy always. But we can be friends right?

Angel: Thanks… We can be friends but its better for you if we are not in contact with each other as it will keep reminding you about me.

Victor: Please don’t do this. All I am asking is friendship. At least I can be touch with you that way.

Angel: Alright! But you have to move ahead..

Victor: Yea. I will try.

Angel: Come on! You should search for a nice girl. You will get one soon.

Victor: One cannot search for true love, it just happens automatically.

Angel: You are living in which century dude. This is 21st century. There is nothing called true love. You can always move ahead in life. Be practical yaar!! If you want I can search a nice gal for you :)

Victor: Nope! Its fine.. I m ok..

…………. To be continued :)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Is Happiness the most perplexing word in this world?

It was a hot summer day and I was standing on the roadside corner waiting for someone who was supposed to pick me up from that place, he eventually became late and so I sat near one of the open restaurant. I wasn’t thinking about anything at that time. Just a few moments later I saw a Silver Mercedes car which stopped near the parking area. Husband came out from the driver’s seat. His wife was sitting besides him and 2 cute kids were giggling on the back side. I thought how lucky that guy he, he is successful and must have achieved something big to afford Mercedes. I was sipping my cold coffee on the 1st floor. Right then I saw his wife, who was beautiful, must be in her early 30s. I smiled sarcastically thinking that how lucky his wife is. She must be very happy with each and everything in this world. This woman must be enjoying all the luxuries of life without doing much. Must be having a very comfortable life, nothing much to do having plenty of time to read books, throwing kitty parties. Just then, he went to the other side of the driver’s seat and starting yelling at his wife and kids. It was loud enough that everyone started staring at them. But he was just too busy shouting at his wife and children so as to notice that everyone is watching him. Till now it was all normal and fine and I thought that he must have had a bad day at the office and that’s why he looks frustrated. But he didn’t stop and he then started abusing his wife obstreperously. He said

“Why the hell can’t control these kids, they want Pastries and chocolates and want to go for a ride everyday? You are such a bitch who just wants to spend money lavishly. These kids are just jumping in my car and they will surely break something inside my new car. You middleclass lady, fuck off from my life”. Even I felt ashamed how someone can talk to his wife in such a filthy language.

His wife looked really embarrassed but she still listened to everything he had to say silently. Her eyes said it all, she knew that everyone is looking at them and she was on verge of crying, still unable to say a word to retaliate. Just few moments back I was thinking how lucky she is. But now I felt that her life must be worse than hell.
Just then I saw an old couple walked past me holding hands in hands who looked so happy with each other. They must be in their 60s still they were happy about life. They were gossiping and teasing each other and seemed to be having a lot of fun. And I thought what actually “happiness” is? What is something that can keep him Happy? Or rather, is there anything in the world that can keep him happy at first place? The answer is “NO”.
So what is Happiness according to you? What is something that will make you happy for the whole life? What is that something which you want to achieve/get to feel fulfilled? The general answer would be Money, name, fame, girlfriend, boyfriend, muscles, health, looks etc or some odd ones would say – “a peaceful life.

We all want to be in someone else’s shoes. Don’t we? Everyone thinks that wowwww!! he looks so happy to me. Why I am not like him/her? He/she is so lucky to have this and that. But the truth is NO-ONE (yes no one) in this world is happy with what they possess. Let’s say that you want money, you slog your ass off for few years and with a bit of luck on your side, you are able to become rich or successful with fame. After accomplishing so much and having seen so many ups and down, are you finally happy? The answer is “NO”. I am not saying that one should not put in efforts or just stop at one point of time. But the only thing I want to put here is that one should always try to enjoy what he/she has. Live and enjoy every single moment. It’s important to enjoy the BAD times too. It’s worth an experience I bet. We all want our time to be perfect and none of us want struggle one bit. Each and everything in this world has a secret message in it. Only pain and struggle is the key to un-code that secret message. Every pain will teach you something new, every disappointment will make you realize YOUR TRUE SELF. Every failure will make you realize, who are your true friends and who all can stand by you in your bad times. Enjoy the pain, you will value your success even more because you will love it and will always remember about the dark days of struggle and sweat at the back of your mind.

I am experiencing that every failure and disappointed brings you closer to God. You struggle materialistically is directly proportional to your growth spiritually.

P.S.: This is just my personal experience. Please post your comments. If you don’t agree with me then I am ready for the discussion.

- Manish Lunja

Monday, November 10, 2008

My Childhood died today.. MUST READ!!

Our great dada is retiring and the void which has created will never be filled. I want to congratulate dada for his fantastic career; he was a great player and was a very inspirational leader. The world cricket will remember him for his shear determination and never say die attitude. To be very honest with you, I am going through very ambiguous feelings now. I am both happy and sad. I am happy for dada who has had a memorable last test series. Not many cricketers get such a chance to have their farewell as special as this. I want to thank dada for whatever he has done for me.

Friends, on this occasion I want to tell u a story of a 10 year old boy – a boy who was considered to be dumb, very quiet, and reserved. People never missed a chance to make fun of that guy. Whenever he tried to do something there were always many guys around to pull his legs. No one understood him. A boy had absolutely no self-confidence. Teachers had already told his parents that your son won’t be able to do anything in life.

He used to sit quietly without saying a word and used to wonder that he is a big loser in life. Nobody had any sympathy for him. Perhaps he was too young to do anything about it. In year 1996, it was time when had just completed his 5th standard examination and had summer vacations, he was watching a cricket match by chance. Although he had no interest in cricket what so ever then, the 1st test between India and England was over and one of the middle order batsman had to go back home for some personal reason. Indian think-tank had to play someone else in the playing 11 and that someone was none other than Sourav Ganguly.

That boy observed that there were lots and lots of speculation about his place in the side. Few of the team members said that he made it to the side because of regional quota. Few of them said that Bengalis are soft enough to play cricket, some of them said that he just can’t score runs in the leg side and some said he doesn’t have an attitude to play for India as he refused to carry drinks on the field in 1992.

The boy deeply moved from inside, he felt sympathy for young Sourav and he prayed for him to play well. He was very curious about it and asked everyone about basics of cricket. It was the 1st time he was watching a cricket match as dada walked in. Very soon dada was on song. He played some fantastic shots and scored a brilliant 131 on debut against England at Lords. Young Sourav played so well in the off-side that there was no stopping him. Just when I thought that he scores on just one side of the wicket, he pulled Alan Mullally for 4 on the on-side following an exquisite on-drive. The boy was filled with bliss. He was filled with an awe that someone whose condition was like him is doing well. He was more curious to know about dada's life and soon discovered how he was dropped in 1992 after having played just 1 one-day match. He read Sourav's post-match interview and decided that he too will try to do something for himself. His childhood when was very repressed before just got life. The child inside him was just born again and suddenly there was whole lot of energy in him. He tried to understand what his real problem was and decided that he will work very hard to do well in class.

Very soon, Sourav scored another 100 in his 2nd match and that really was a confidence booster for that little kid. He had started to believe in himself. He started to wake up 5'o clock in the morning and studied day in day out.

Soon the result was there to be seen. The boy who always struggled to get passing marks got above 80% and was in top 5. There was suddenly an increase of 35%. Everybody was surprised by the change. Parents and teachers all were happy and were praising him. Eventually everybody was ready to help him more and more. .

It was in 2002 when he had board exams and he scored 84% in board. He was in top 5 in school. The same teachers who had ridiculed him by saying that he had no future were praising him.

The boy was so very much thankful to dada that he never missed his single innings and even used to keep fast for him when he didn't play well. Dada was his religion now. He used to kiss sourav's poster in his room after waking up daily and always used to thank him for the self belief he gave him.

Soon Sourav became India’s captain and started of very well.. I remember the boy wearing a black band on his arm for about a week when sourav was not able to convert his starts into a big one.

Soon the Australians were in India with record of 15 wins in a row. The time does not seem be helping dada at all. There were charges on him having an affair with Bollywood actress Nagma and his marital life seemed to be in a spot of bother. This had huge impact on dada. India lost 1st test match in Mumbai and dada didn’t perform well. There was hell lot of pressure on him. But he came back as he always does although he didn’t score too many runs against Australia but he didn’t let that affect his captaincy 1 bit and India won in Calcutta despite having to face follow-on and went on to win the series in Chennai. The boy had seen dada as a player but dada as captain was just improving day by day. The kind of aggression, the kind of passion and the kind of attitude was just unheard of.

But dada has this habit of surprising every1 just when no one expects it.. Just after Australian tour, India had to go to Zimbabwe for 2 test series. Dada failed miserably.. The boy was sad but he had lots and lots of faith in him. Soon India went to South Africa for a triangular series.. The boy was really horrified. Dada had to face bowlers like Pollock, Kallis, Klusener and Ntini. He didn’t want dada to open against a new ball in such a disastrous form. The boy was petrified when he saw Dada coming with Sachin to open the batting. There was lot written about dada being treated with chin-music and short pitch stuff. Match started and dada faced 1st ball from Pollock and with a little feet movement, dada just caressed it through the covers for 4. Suddenly the grin on the boy's face was gone and smile came on his face.

Dada had never batted as aggressively before as he did today. He just moved his one leg outside the line of the stumps and slogged all the bowlers all over the park and got his 100 in less than 35 overs. That very series he played such innings in each and every match. He had surprised everyone once again.

Just when everything was going on smoothly, the boy had his 12th science board exams but he didn’t do too well and got very less marks, even less than 65%. He had to struggle to get into a good Engineering college and just when he had lost all hopes, he got admission in a decent engineering college in year 2004. Just when the boy did reasonably well in his 1st two semesters, he did horribly badly in his 4th semester, at the same time dada was thrown out of the Indian team in 2005 after the Chappel-Ganguly dispute... boy's only support was gone.. and with kind of politics going on, it looked very tough for dada to make it to the Indian side.. he made a comeback against Pakistan then was again thrown out. But he worked hard again, played Ranji trophy and came back against South Africa.

This time he did few adjustments in his technique. The bat follow through was a bit higher compared to his previous stance and as always he made a tremendous come back.. That was the only relief he got and it was much needed one. The boy somehow did alright in his last year and completed his Engineering in 2008. He gave all the credit to dada for his success, who is not less than God for him.

Dada played well against Pakistan was had scored more than 2500 in that year but he failed in Sri-Lanka and was not getting any younger. The new captain MS Dhoni whom dada brought in international cricket had back stabbed him. He soon discovered that he is unwanted in the team. He lost his place from the ODIs. The friends before were no more friends now. The boy knew that even this time dada will be dropped against Australia and unfortunately dada was dropped from even the probables for the Australian series to play a match in Irani trophy by not even making to the probables. Dada was shattered this time. Exclusion from Irani trophy hurt him deeply but he was out of blue selected against Australia.

But dada was hurt badly. He decided to call it a day against Australia in Nagpur.. No doubt selectors were happy after hearing this. However I must say that he won’t have been playing if he didn’t have the belief in himself. It’s not that easy to motivate yourself when you play for such a long time.

The boy had tears in his eyes when he heard the news of dada's retirement but he was too shocked to be able to accept it. It was only at the start of the 4th test match that he realized that dada will no longer be playing for India and knowing the kind of personality he is, I am sure he won’t reconsider his decision of coming back. In a way its good that he is retiring himself otherwise he would have been humiliated again by being dropped from the side. Dada scored scores of 85 and a duck in his final match. That was the end of a great career and a legend that changed the face of Indian cricket.

The boy is all alone and had tears in his eyes when dada played his last innings.. With dada's dismissal the childhood inside the boy died. The big brother won’t be there in reality to motivate him. The boy is all alone now. His childhood died today. He lost his child ness with this...

And by now, u must have realized that that boy is none other than me.

Whatever little I have done in life, I owe it to dada. Whatever I achieved won’t have been possible without dada.. He taught me to believe in my ability. The most memorable moment of my life was when dada himself called me to his dressing room, he hugged me and gifted me his t-shirt too on which he has written " WITH LOTS OF LOVE - SOURAV GANGULY", that was the same time when i got the best compliment of my life when he said "MANISH I HAVE NEVER SEEN A FAN LIKE U" and I started crying. He told me at that time just to believe in myself and wished me good luck in life. Now we just have his memories. Whatever I will achieve in this life will be because of dada.

You are my God Dada. You might be retiring from International cricket but you will never retire from my heart. In this life, I promise you that I will stand by you till my last breath. I wish you all the very best in life and I hope that you will do things with same passion just the way u played cricket. I salute you great man, a standing ovation for you. Take a bow. I salute you with Indian flag flying high in your hand. JAI HIND!!

P.S. :- It is my personal experience which I am sharing with you. Sorry guys if it was too lengthy but do tell me if u like it. I would be waiting for your comments. DADAGIRI WILL ALWAYS ROCK!!